One to Skip: Heather Brewer’s The Cemetery Boys

Cemeteries? Check. Creepy monster things? Check. Mental infirmity leading to greater issues? Check. Exciting romance between the new kid and the goth girl? Check. Creepy, slightly sadistic, slightly Flowers in the Attic grandma? Check. References to the King (that’s Stephen, for anyone who worships a different literary god)? Check!

Based on this exciting and definitely not often seen together checklist, one would think that Heather Brewer’s The Cemetery Boys was, seriously, the hottest release to come to YA Lit! Unfortunately, despite the long list of positives, there are just too many missing chunks; too many pieces that don’t quite mesh together; too many eyebrow raising coincidences; too many times when I thought a connection was going to be made, but somehow it didn’t. Sigh. So close, yet so far away!

The story follows Stephen, who’s forced to move to his father’s hick small town home from his own native Denver when his mother is checked into an insane asylum for (vaguely, we never really get any clear details on this point) raving about large winged things. Stephen’s dad is trying to pay her medical bills, which are ever-mounting, and when he loses his job, breaks the news to Stephen that they have to move in with his much-hated mother in order to not become homeless.

As one might expect, Stephen fights this, though it’s unclear what exactly he’s fighting. The fact that his dad lost his job? That they don’t have any more money? That his continuing to live near a mother whom he doesn’t see much is more important than anything else? That he’s having to switch schools (though he really doesn’t mention having any friends keeping him in Denver)? Even when his father finally lays out the facts to him, Stephen acts like a small child throwing a tantrum over something they don’t even know what they feel about.

Sooo. . . they move to his dad’s hometown of nowhere, called Spencer, and Stephen immediately acts awkward and weird, and seems to think that it’s perfectly normal that he, supposedly a major dork in Denver, would move to this tiny town and sweep the area’s leading goth girl right off her feet? Only to learn her mother’s also not all there, her brother’s the leader of the creepy guy pack and he, Stephen, has magically by virtue of moving become this intriguing, angsty, studmuffin dude he never was before. All while throwing regular temper tantrums about how terrible his life is/how horrible his dad is/how unfair the world is/etc.

He also decides–randomly and out of character–to befriend the band of wild ruffians because . . . all of a sudden uncharacteristically sneaking out all night to get wasted in cemeteries is now his “thing”? Hm.

What I Liked About The Book:

1. The premise is fascinating, and the first few pages really set up the scene for some super interesting/dramatic awesomeness. Seriously, it’s like the author had a checklist of awesomely creepy elements to throw into a story and went down the list.

2. References to Stephen King works? YES!!!! WAY better than more yawn-inducing quotes from ancient classics, and WAY more fitting for the setting. This should happen more often.

3. I liked the different personalities that hypothetically made up the group of cemetery boys, and the fact that it’s a group of boys, but there’s so little on them individually (and for the couple that get more attention, there’s so little that clearly connects and makes sense) that they all might as well be just a random pack of kids at school.

. . . and that’s all I got on what I liked.

What I Didn’t Like About the Book:

1. There are so many potentially great ideas scattered throughout here, but none of them are fully developed. Yes, it’s a shorter YA piece, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be a full and well-developed story. It just means that the author–and a good editor–need to decide what aspects need some axing to make the story a solid, believable whole.

2. The writing. So much was told that could have been shown, and those things shown were so unclearly connected. Seriously. We see half a chapter about the weirdness of the old guys sitting in the heat watching the road, but to what end? In such a short book, there just isn’t space for this unless there’s a reason for it. And here’s the thing: there just isn’t a reason for it. Same thing with two of the cemetery boys disappearing into the woods together and the speculation going along with it: with just the one mention–no further development, no explanation, no nothing–it loses the impact that it could have had and the nod to even small town diversity that might have been there–and instead simply becomes another false trail. Even with some of the larger characters we see this. A big deal is made about Devon “accidentally” dropping his journal in front of Stephen’s window one night, and this point is returned to repeatedly. Same deal with the fact that Stephen decides to keep it, that it has strange pictures drawn in it. When Devon finally gets it back, it’s such an anti-climactic reaction for so much build up, it’s almost comical.

3. We keep getting hints that don’t go anywhere. Kind of related to point 2, but enough to stand on it’s own. We get hints that dad hated his mom . . . but why? No, no–no need to elaborate. Just let us guess, right? We also get hints that Stephen’s mom’s delusions are related to rants about large, winged things . . . but don’t consider tying these ideas together at all. No need, right? (Note sarcasm dripping here). I guess what got to me is that there seemed to be a lot of loose ends in terms of the details of the story. Places where ideas could have been better connected, places where the plot could have been better developed, places where the characters could have been brought to life. But they weren’t.

4. Speaking of characters . . . sigh.  Again, there was a lot of possibility. But why would a dork move to a brand new place and then suddenly believe that a super hot chick is going to find him absolutely amazing? I don’t buy it–not only because, well, there’s nothing suggesting that he’s changed at all but also because any adolescent who’s grown up believing that they’re on the geek end of their peer spectrum is not suddenly going to believe themselves to be amazing overnight. Same thing with the band of boys he’s suddenly rolling with. These are cool, punk, breaking-into-buildings, staying-out-all-night, drinking-till-we’re-wasted dudes. How is Stephen not in the least bit suspicious of their open-armed acceptance of him into their group? And even their group is mischaracterized on the cover. Never once did I get the impression that these are die-hard, support each other come what may, friends til the end guys. Actually, quite the opposite: it felt more like they were together because they had to be, for reasons never actually revealed.

5. Um, parents much . . . or at all? We have dad–who’s jobless and trying to do chores around his mom’s house with his son. We have grandma–who’s mean and crusty around the edges, but for some reason gone all the time. We have mom–locked away for some reason. So it’s clear why mom’s not able to see any changes in Stephen, but seriously? Dad doesn’t notice/take issue with/have concerns about/etc the fact that his son, since this move to a town that he repeatedly emphasizes is dangerous, has taken to going out and staying out all night? To coming home wasted at all hours? To being hungover all day the next day? That dad has no interest in the friends his son’s making? And grandma’s supposed to be a horrible, heinous beast–and we get some tickling around the edges that that must be the case, but then there’s . . . well, really nothing.

6. So do people believe in these things or not? At the end of the story, I closed the book and haven’t thought about it since. But in writing this, it occurs to me that I still don’t know the answer.

Overall:

You can do better. Honestly, I’d just recommend you read anything by Stephen King, and that would be much, much better. However, to keep it in YA, if you want the goth element, consider anything by Gina Damico; if you want the insanity element, consider Madeline Roux’s Asylum books; if you want the creepy monster element, try Random Riggs’s books; if you want the band of boys friendship element, well, Stephen King’s The Body and It would work beautifully where this flopped.

What do you think? Anyone else out there read this one?